Hidden Hurt Domestic Abuse Information

Personal Domestic Violence Stories


This page is devoted to all the wonderful brave people who have shared their domestic violence stories, feelings and experiences to help others.

These survivors had the strength to live through the Hell which is Domestic Abuse, the strength to fight it and break free, and are willing to help others in similar situations to realise that there is light at the end of the tunnel, there is hope and there is freedom.

If you would like your story included on this page, please send it to me at contact@hiddenhurt.co.uk. Thank you.

Giulia's Physical Violence Story - "Everywhere I went he would insist on being there and if he wasn't I'd have hours of hell. Every penny I earned, I had to spend on him or on things like household items for our future. Friends were not allowed and neither were my plans for the future."

Harriet's Domestic Abuse Story - Harriet's story starts like so many other with only ocasional violent attacks which she is able to ignore for the progress of the family, But over time the controling and jealousy became too much and the violent attacks to severe to be ignored any longer.

In another of Lundy Bancroft fantastic books, The Batterer as Parent takes the reader inside of homes affected by domestic violence, imparting an understanding of the atmosphere that battering men create for the children who live with them. It show how partner abuse affects each relationship in a family, and explains how children’s emotional recovery is inextricably linked to the healing and empowerment of their mothers. Also cover the important but often-overlooked area of the post-separation parenting behaviours of men who batter, including their use of custody litigation as a tool of abuse:

To order in the US: The Batterer as Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics (Sage Series on Violence Against Women)

To order in the UK: The Batterer as Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics (SAGE Series on Violence against Women)

Giulia's Physical Violence Story - "Everywhere I went he would insist on being there and if he wasn't I'd have hours of hell. Every penny I earned, I had to spend on him or on things like household items for our future. Friends were not allowed and neither were my plans for the future."

Renee's Domestic Violence Story - Having spent her childhood surrounded by domestic abuse as a norm, it took many years and many bruises for Renee to realise there was another way to live. Now a confident survivor, Renee has written a book about her experiences and survival.

Tiffany's Child Abuse and Domestic Violence Story - Tiffany tells her story of child abuse and domestic violence, a sexually abusive father and mother who failed to protect her, further molestation in her teens and a domestic violence relationship

Margaret's Domestic Violence Story - Margaret's story started when she was just a child witnessing abuse herself and took her through two abusive relationships as an adult before she came out victorious and with a firm belief the God had led her and her children to safety.

What is Normal? - What is normal? My daughter eats smash, gravy, and cabbage for breakfast. Is that weird? No, she does it all the time, we've become used to it, and it's part of our routine. If you live long enough with the abnormal, it becomes normal.
Lisa's Emotional nd Physical Abuse Story - Lisa's Story of emotional and physical abuse leading to self-harm starts with a man who forged his own background to emotionally manipulate her into helping him - to her initial detrement, but finally realising this was not "her Fault"..
Rhia's Domestic Violence Story - Rhia tells this dometic violence story not for sympathy but to point out that you never know what the one thing in your life is going to be that changes you and everything you believe.
Selena Domestic Violence Story - Selena thought the whole domestic violence story would come to an end once her partner had left, but it didn't. Years after trying to find an abuse free life, she is still having to walk around with a panic alarm.
Fran's Domestic Abuse Story - Fran's domestic abuse story started when she was 15. This was Fran's first real relationship, which turned out to be an abusive relationship including serious violence which almost cost Fran her life.
Fran's Domestic Abuse Story - Fran's domestic abuse story started when she was 15. This was Fran's first real relationship, which turned out to be an abusive relationship including serious violence which almost cost Fran her life.

 

The long-awaited book from our very own Steve from the Hidden Hurt Message Forum as finally arrived!

THE JERK RADAR

Have you ever gone out with someone who seemed perfect at first, but ended up being a nightmare? Do you find yourself falling in love but ending up feeling disrespected and used? Would you like to make sure that something like that never happens to you (or someone you care about) again? If so, this book is written for you. There are lots of books about how to tell if you're in an abusive relationship. This is book will keep you from getting into one in the first place. Jerk Radar will help you see how a Jerk takes advantage of common cultural expectations and romantic myths to blind you to his true intentions. It will give you concrete ways to test out his intentions in the course of a normal conversation. And the Jerk Radar Quiz provides an effective tool to screen every partner for Jerky tendencies well before obviously selfish behavior emerges. Full of true stories from abuse survivors, Jerk Radar pulls no punches in exposing what Jerks do and why we fall for it. This is a useful, down-to-earth, practical guide to avoiding a bad relationship instead of recovering from one. Read it today - it just may change your life!

To order in the US: Jerk Radar: How to Stop an Abusive Relationship Before It Starts

To order in the UK:Jerk Radar: How to Stop an Abusive Relationship Before It Starts

Steve McCrea, MS, has worked for over 20 years with survivors of domestic abuse and their children. He has participated in many local collaboartive projects on domestic abuse, and has provided community trainings on working effectively with domestic abuse survivors. He currently works as an advocate for children in the foster care system. He has volunteered for the past 9 years as facilitator for an on-line abuse survivor community, whose members contributed most of the stories in the book.

Gemma's Domestic Abuse Story - Gemma's domestic abuse story is one that could be echoed up and down the country. The clues that the relationship would turn out abusive were there from the beginning, but hope drew Gemma in and shame kept her from leaving even after the situation had turned violent. Here Gemma shares her experiences for other women who might believe it is not really serious abuse.
Hidden Talents - Jena, at 13, wrote the following account of the hidden talents she found living with abuse and standing up to her bully for a school talent show.
Nadya's Teen Domestic Violence Story - Nadya's teen domestic violence story starts when she was born, not into an abusive home but to parents who did not really know how to make her feel loved and valued. This lack of emotional support left her more likely to find herself involved in an abusive relationship as a teen.
Shelley's Domestic Violence Story - "I used to tell him that arguments don't have to turn violent, and that it isn't normal, and he would always say that I was doing it again - wanting everything done my way, and get angry again. He always said I was twisting things and a manipulative girl, but I never realised he was the one manipulating me. ..."
Mark's Domestic Abuse Story - Elequently and in great detail, Mark looks back on snapshots of his marriage, carefully documenting the abusive relationship in which he found himself trapped, his thoughts and feelings both towards himself and his wife. A must read.
Part 1: An Introduction - "In my mind what you are holding is a work of fiction. It has to be. Nothing so horrific, demeaning and fundamentally humiliating could ever happen in any real relationship, could it? ..."
Part 2: Conwy - "There was nothing beautiful about the way in which we remained together. People talk about matches made in heaven and love at first sight. It was as if we had been placed together to demonstrate to our respective families and friends, and to those people who became involved in our five year connection, of how not to lay a solid foundation for the rest of your life. This was a destructive attachment centred around her insecurities and my inability to free myself from her."
Part 3: Glenfinnan - "One can say that men cannot be raped due to the probable inability to gain an erection when undergoing that kind of ugly abuse. Whatever the speculative thought process may reveal, I cannot get passed the fact that I did not want to have sex. I think that I have been raped"
Part 4: Wales
Part 5: Peterborough - coming soon
Tanya's Domestic Abuse Story - "He knew that he was the first boy that I had ever loved and used that fact to his advantage. He was the person who painted a picture of what love was suppose to be, because before him I was closed off to any emotion that would make me vulnerable. He was my vulnerability and I listened to everything he said and took it as truth. ..."
Amelia's Domestic Violence Story - "The main effect of this violence was that I started to change - I stopped being myself. I would avoid any conversation with friends when we were out that would have anything to do with my life before him, I didn't look at or talk to other men."
Abigail's Story - A young Christian Woman tells her personal story of an emotionally and physically abusive relationship and her road to healing and recovery.
Evie's Story - Domestic Violence and Prostitution - From a shy withdrawn 19 year old meeting what appeared to be an older, wiser man, this incredible woman charts her descent into domestic violence and forced prostitution and the turning point to finally breaking free and having a chance to find herself.
Louise's Story - "We were only together 10 months yet it feels like it lasted a lifetime ..."

Children witnessing abuse : Daisy's Story - After she'd witnessed her step-father physically abusing her mother, Daisy found herself being abused by her brother. She explains how she and her sister were tricked into consenting, and how they finally ended it.

Ruth's Domestic Abuse Story

Hainvg been recently widowed, Ruth was an easy target for someone who then financially abused, phyxially and sexually assaulted and abused her for the newt 7 years.

Sarah's Physical Abuse Story - Little did Sarah know that the boy she had admired growing up would provide her with her very own physical abuse story. Here are Sarah's words as she charts her descent into and then back out of the trap so many of us recognise.
Lacy's Emotional Abuse Story - "Whenever he would scream, insult me or curse at me he would tell me it never happened, even right after it happened. One day he used the F word at me for using a metal spoon on a pan. ... He swore he never yelled or cursed at me.."
Lash: Children Witnessing Abuse - "The violence towards my mother had started before I was even born, but I can only seem to remember from when I was 7 years old and onward. That's probably a good thing."
Thomas' Domestic Violence Story - Betty always had an unpredictable and spirited personality, but I and most of our friends thought it was one of her endearing charms. A few months after Derek was born, Betty's endearing spirit started to turn scary.
Christine's Domestic Violence Story - Christine tells her story of domestic violence, going back to her first abuser after he had spent a spell in prison for assaulting her, finally leaving, only to find herself in another abusive relationship
Kirsty's Story - In a new town, lonely, Kirsty meets the 'perfect man', perfect, that is, until the night he tries to kill her. This is her story, a story in which the mix of physical violence and drugs and alcohol leave Kirsty fearing she will never see her mother or sons again.
When you are Family of a Domestic Abuse Victim - "There appears to be very little advice and support for the people witnessing the destruction and poison caused when seeing a loved one in an abusive relationship. This story may well appease the frustration and angst family members may be feeling."
Freya's Story - As a 16 year old girl, Freya found herself in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship. Here she tells her story of how quickly she got hooked in and how difficult it was to leave.
Danna's Physical Abuse Story -"In most cases people say it started in a regular pattern, not with me. I would be sitting on the sofa and for no reason be smashed across the face from nowhere, no reason, no answers, just left to deal with my tears."
May's Emotional Abuse Story -"I thought that because he never actually hit me (he just threatened to if I didn't shut up), that it wasn't classed as abuse. I've always been afraid of him, so I've worked myself and our 4 children around pleasing him in order to maintain peace."
Mandy's Domestic Violence Story - Domestic violence is possible even if you are still a teen and not actually living together with your boyfriend. As Mandy found out to her own cost and that of her unborn children ...
Emma's Story - "You'd never pick him out as an abuser, he was small built and never got into fights and everyone who met him thought he was a sweet guy. ..."
Why Does He Do That, by Lundy Bancroft - a Must Read for anyone wanting to know how to spot a potential abuser, what makes them tick, how they manipulate us, their values and beliefs, and how to survive and get out safely.

To order in the US: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men .
To order in the UK: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
Ange and Brian's Story - "This is the story of Ange - my wife, Me – Brian and how we came together from opposite sides of the world and how Ange was able to get out of a hell that was her life." (PDF)
Carla's Story - a really touching story of Carla as a child witnessing and being implicated in her stepfather's abuse. For all those that think the kids aren't affected ... read this!
M.P.'s Story - abuse can hit at any age ... MP, now in her early twenties, shows how a confident 17-year old found her self-esteem eroded as the abusive relationship progressed and shares with us her determination to rebuild her life.
Anna's Story - ... "I never once realised that I was suffering from domestic violence thinking that it was only related to physical not mental abuse ... "
Sadie's Story - There IS Life after abuse! - "I was in an abusive relationship that lasted for 21 years. By the time I left I was barely functioning. I thought I was crazy. Now, six long, hard, incredible years later not only have I managed to survive, but I have also found contentment, my soul mate, and, most importantly, myself along the way. There IS life after abuse. This is my story ... "
Hannah's Story - "... I want some people to hear my story and hopfully this will help people understand it's a long road out but in the end there is light if you let it in ..."
Charlotte's Story - The punching started on the first anniversary - the first of many in six years of mental and physical abuse ...
Belinda's Story - The story of a middle class Jamaican girl suffering 9 years of brutality told with clarity, honesty and much courage: "I saw the first sign of jealousy only one week into our relationship. I was flattered, a near fatal mistake. ..."
When I want your opinions .... (a prayer for that woman I still love) - "An Internet date can lead to unpredictable outcomes. When that person’s life is shaped by undiagnosed issues or unresolved yesterdays - or both - you know you’re going to hurt. Sad thing is, you just never know."
Becky's Teen Abuse Story - "I am still 16 years old but I know I have learned the biggest lesson in my life and I know from this boy I will not be taking any hassle off any boy again. Please follow in my tracks and stand up for yourself ..."
Isabelle's Verbal and Pysical Abuse Story - "It started in 2010. My ex-husband who had been cheating on me had moved out. My mom had passed away and I was seriously depressed. It was just then that an old boyfriend from college contacted me. We started talking on the phone and stuff (he lived very far away from me), and I went and visited him. After that we ended up dating again."
Have you got a story to tell? A poem to share or feelings you have put to paper?
Please do send it to us! Simply write it down in whatever format suits you best and send it by email to contact@hiddenhurt.co.uk (this is not a live link to avoid excessive spam). We look forward to hearing from you!
Kiara's Story - married to an abuser for 5 years, Kiara gives us an insight into how it feels, not only to live in an abusive marriage, but also the condemning attitudes of other people, including people from her own Church.
Vella's Story - a touching and terrifying story from a courageous and caring survivor who found that emotional and mental abuse can and does lead to pure evil violence and even murder.
Rachel's Story - from a normal boyfriend/girlfriend to battery and intimate rape, recovery and reaching out to help others, this strong and loving survivor shares her experiences and feelings with us. From the authoress of Aphrodite Wounded, an excellent informative and personal website on Intimate Rape.
Jay's Story - written by a very brave 13-year old who is just starting on the road to healing following a childhood of witnessing the abuse of her mother and brothers and suffering violence at the hands of her father herself.
Intervention and Knowledge - After being raised in an abusive household and then suffering 10 years of further abuse in her marriage, this brave survivor stays determined to continue the battle for freedom ...
Joanne's Story - with honesty and clarity this brave survivor details the path she travelled into an abusive relationship, the struggles and emotional hurdles faced in finally leaving and starting on the road to peace.
Allison's Story: A Bed of Thorns - "I know when it began, only, I don’t know why. I remember the first time like it was yesterday. I can still see his face; see the anger and hatred etched upon it. It happened so fast. I never saw it coming. I learned a lot then. I learnt to notice the signs. I learnt to do as I was told. That was how I learned to walk on egg shells – it’s an art that must be mastered. Only I could never quite master it, not to his standards anyway ..."
Lost the Battle but Won the War - this is the awesome story of one women and her experience of life in Ireland from the fifties to the present day, from early abuse as a child through an abusive marriage and the abuse of the legal system set up to protect her, culminating in her final escape.
Recovering from Marital Rape: a Personal Journey - "It was three years since I had last been assaulted, I had gone over and over everything, knew all the facts and stats and jargon. I thought I had worked through it and largely 'got over it', and yet this experience made me realise that in actual fact I had not really healed at all, was nowhere near 'over it'."
Varda's Story - "I suffered 17 years of violence of all forms, my children were also victims of physical and mental abuse ... then one day he went too far ..."

Return from Domestic Violence Stories to Hidden Hurt Home

In This Section:

Domestic Violence Stories
Abigail's Story
Allison's Story
Amelia's Story
Anna's Story
Becky's Story
Belinda's Story
Carla's Story
Charlotte's Story
Christine's Story
Claire's Story
Daisy's Story
Danna's Story
Donald's Story
Emma's Story
Evie's Story
Family of Victim Story
Fran's Story
Freya's Story
Gemma's Story
Giulia's Story
Harriet's Story
Hannah's Story
Hidden Talents
Ingrid's Story
Isabelle's Story
Jay's Story
Joanne's Story
Kiara's Story
Kirsty's Story
Lacy's Story
Lash's Story
Lisa's Story
Louise's Story
Mandy's Story
Margaret's Story
Mark's Story
May's Story
MP's Story
Nadya's Story
Orla's Story
Portia's Story
Rachel's Story
Renee's Story
Rhia's Story
Sadie's Story
Sarah's Story
Selena's Story
Shelley's Story
Tanya's Story
Tiffany's Story
Thomas' Story
Varda's Story
Vella's Story
What is Normal?

Related Pages:

Domestic Violence Poetry
Domestic Violence Poetry 2

Recommended Reading:

Hear the voices of other women who have lived through and escaped from domestic abuse. This collection of personal survival stories help us understand the struggles, the pain and ultimately, the courage of victims who are determined to be survivors.

To order in the US: Surviving Domestic Violence: Voices of Women Who Broke Free

To order in the UK: Surviving Domestic Violence: Voices of Women Who Broke Free


Life after getting out of an abusive relationship often continues to be a struggle, and It's My Life Now offers guidance to overcoming common pitfalls, blending worksheets with insights on self exploration and ongoing growth. From handling feels of loss and guilt to overcoming feelings associated with having loved an abuser, this book continues to offer invaluable lessons and be a real source of help and strength:

To order in the US: It's My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence, 2nd Edition

To order in the UK: It's My Life Now


Many people suffer verbal and emotional abuse in secret for years, not really understanding what is happening or why they feel so rotten. Nor do they realize how easily such seemingly mild forms of abuse can be the precursor to physical violence. This book by Patricia Evans helps the victim understand how to recognize abuse, validates the victim's perception of what is happening and offers solid suggestions as to what to do to control abuse and to protect oneself :

To order in the US: The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and how to respond

To order in the UK: The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition




UK National Domestic Violence Freephone number 0808 2000 247

 

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