Charlotte's Physical Abuse Story

A young Christian wife, Charlotte tells her emotional and physical abuse story, showing how it developed until she was frightened of going home and finally left the abusive relationship with the help of her Church minister:

I met Ian in the summer of 1997 and we got engaged after eight weeks and married the following summer.

The first time Ian hit me was just after our first anniversary in 1999. This was just because I mentioned that we didn't have a very good anniversary while we were sitting on the sofa eating dinner. He punched my arm causing me to drop my tray. Little did I know this was the start of six years of mental and physical abuse.

On random occasions - usually every three months - Ian would attack me, usually over such trivial things.

The physical abuse included being punched at the top of my arms where I could easily cover the bruises and Ian always told me to keep them covered. Ian would kick me leaving bruises. He pulled my hair.

On one occasion we had been out after church with some friends for a drink. When arriving home Ian became moody and I went to bed. He came upstairs and asked me to get out of bed to help him look for a work shirt. I didn't get out of bed. I replied that I wanted to go to sleep. He suddenly turned on me. He kicked me out of bed, somehow got me in the posistion of being flat on my back. He stood on me and spat in my face.

Ian would often call me fat and unattractive. He always blamed me for the abuse saying I made him cross and if I would just obey him he would not need to hit me.

Each time I mentioned getting help he said if I told anyone he could get arrested and it would cost him his job. He would often become jealous of me such as when I wanted to go to college. He had an evil look in his eyes and told me not to go as I needed to work and bettering myself was not important once married. He even forced my head back.

I took my last punch while driving back from visiting his mum in Ashbourne one night and he was in a mood as we had arranged to meet some friends and they had not shown. I drove back and smiled at two men kissing and he punched me hard on my arm.

All this came to a close with me finally leaving when I went out with some friends one night. He was sending nasty text messages asking me to go home. I really thought if I went home he would hit me so decided to stop at a friends for the night.

A week later on the way to a party we were going to a party and he did not want to go in for some reason. He told me to drive somewhere. I did and told him not to be daft when he said about going home. He then threatened to hit me if i did not shut up. I did to avoid him hitting me.

I eventually told my church minister and with his advice came out of the marriage in October 2005 and have not returned even though he has pestered me to give him another chance.

~ Charlotte.