Hidden Hurt Domestic Abuse Information

What is freedom?

Written by an abuse survivor, after 6 months of Freedom from her abuser and the abusive relationship, she celebrates and appreciates the freedoms she can now enjoy.

Freedom is knowing, and understanding, that from day one his intention was to use and abuse me (and his children when they came along). It is knowing that I, nor they, have ever done anything to deserve what he did to us.

That knowledge has made me so strong, and helped me free myself, because I now know that none of it was anything we did. That none of it was mine, or the children's, fault. That because of what he is there was nothing that we could have done to make our lives any different. (Except to have gained that knowledge a whole lot earlier). It is knowing that the fault lies solely with him.

Freedom is knowing that I don't have to listen to any more of his lies ( even though he believes I believed every lie he told me! LOL) .

Freedom is knowing that I will never ever have to listen to yet another promise that he will break yet again.

Freedom is waking up each morning knowing he can no longer control and manipulate me.

Freedom is knowing that from now on, I can revel in just being me.

Freedom is being able to enjoy each day without walking on eggshells. It is about not having to pluck up courage to ask him why he did or said the things he did/ said to me. It is about not waiting for next outburst of rage, name calling, gaslighting and blame projection for daring to do so.

Freedom is knowing his mind games cannot affect me any more.

Freedom is setting myself free from the narcissistic phsycopath that has made my life hell for far too long.

Freedom is finding the person I used to be before I had the misfortune to meet and fall in love with him.

(Although I will never regret my children and grandchildren)

Freedom is being proud of, and loving, the person who is me.

Freedom is knowing and accepting that there never was any love on his side, except the love for himself.

Freedom is knowing what a sad and lonely person he must be, locked in his own little world of self adoration, where only he is important - it must be very lonely there. I pity him.

Freedom is knowing that the only friends he has are vulnerable, weak, sad, and lonely women who have yet to have the misfortune of seeing the real him. I feel so sorry for them when they eventually realise that all the "empathy and love" (love bombing) he uses to trap his next victim/s is all fake. God help them!

Freedom is knowing that whatever he says or does cannot affect me any more, because I now know that am strong and he is weak.

Freedom is knowing that his whole life has been, and still is, based on lies, cheating and abusing .

Freedom is knowing that he isn't, and never has been, and never will be, a real man with real feelings.

Freedom is knowing that I can feel in my heart real pity for the person he is. Pity for the fact that he has never known - and never will know - how beautiful giving and receiving real love can be.

Freedom is knowing I am beautiful, intelligent, strong, truthful and courageous - and always have been.

Freedom is knowing I am capable of feeling empathy and love for others - and that I always have done.

Freedom is knowing I have survived 46 years of his manipulation, abuse, put downs, lies and his constant cheating.

And here I am, risen from the ashes of his narcissistic persona .

Risen way beyond what he will ever achieve. I have achieved in a few short months what he will never achieve in a lifetime.

I have achieved Freedom, and it feels so good. I want to go to the top of a hill and shout to the World -


~ A domestic violence abuse surivivor.

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Lundy Bancroft has written what is probably the most comprehensive and readable book on domestic violence, the beliefs of the abuser and the dynamics of abuse. This truly is a MUST READ for anyone seriously trying to understand domestic abuse and how to cope with an abusive relationship:

To order in the US: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

To order in the UK: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Life after getting out of an abusive relationship often continues to be a struggle, and It's My Life Now offers guidance to overcoming common pitfalls, blending worksheets with insights on self exploration and ongoing growth. From handling feels of loss and guilt to overcoming feelings associated with having loved an abuser, this book continues to offer invaluable lessons and be a real source of help and strength:

To order in the US: It's My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence, 2nd Edition

To order in the UK: It's My Life Now

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