Hidden Hurt Domestic Abuse Information

It's Hard Keeping to Having No Contact

by Linda
(Nsw)

No contact is great. But so hard, to my family and friends it's a simple thing,But to me it's still a breakup, he's still the one that I did love and told my stories to,snuggled at night, the guy that used to tell me everything is going to be ok.


The hardest part of no contact is realising that love isn't always enough, as much as it hurts, by talking to him only makes it worse, you need you let go of the past, sometimes you need to be strong enough to realise you deserve better. You never deserved to be hit or threaded or controlled. You deserve to happy and safe.

No contact is really hard, cause tho he hurt me a part on me still wants to love him. That's why you need to have no contact so you don't fall for he's lies .

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Dec 18, 2014
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Give me strength
by: Anonymous

We have lived together for 3 years. He is polite, charming and a gentleman. He opens doors and pulls out chairs for me. I have 2 kids from previous marriage and they recently became his target. Son is 19, daughter is 23 and 4 yr old granddaughter. He knew this when he moved in. Daughter makes minimal wage, no child support and pays for her self and baby's food, clothes, etc. Son is college student and works part time. Boyfriend suddenly stopped working 6mo ago and has not made much effort to find a job in our city. He recently told me that we need our space and privacy. I told him I couldn't kick them out, they can't afford to live on their own yet. He says they should take out the trash without being asked. They wash their own clothes but if I see a piece of their clothing and throw it in our load he gets angry. He decided to move back to his home town but wants to maintain a long distance relationship. He plans on returning when living situation and job situation changes. I feel he put me in an awful situation and is punishing me cause I didn't make my kids move. I am the one footing the bill for our household. Should I just move on or keep in contact with him? I felt he was my true love.

Sep 14, 2014
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No contact
by: Anonymous

I was recently assaulted by my partner who is now on remnd in prison we had no contact for six weeks but he is now calling me from the prison daily and telling me he loves me. He is a being charged with attempted arson with intent to endanger life, he threw petrol over me and held a lighter. As he didn't actually set light to me he doesn't think he should be charged with the offence, he is begging me to withdraw my statement but I have told him I won't . No contact was definitely easier as now I feel guilty because I can't help him. He is looking at a long sentence in prison there had been no violence before he was drunk and is saying now he has had a mental breakdown I am devastated !

Jul 13, 2014
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i know i deserve better
by: Anonymous

Married 17.5yrs. The cracks were there but nothing I thought we could not fix. Then the bomb hits. The affairs the other kids the stealing and lying by him to everyone. He blamed me and told everyone I was phsyio and should be locked up. He handed a gun to me and told me to shoot my self I was a waste if time and space. He lied to everyone and still is. Him his family and freinds came and took everything from me and our two kids when I was out. He even had the local cop help him. I am scared just hearing his voice talking to our kids over the phone.him and his family and friends believe he has done nothing wrong. Even though there was every form of dv in our marriage. I get shunded and abused by his family and friends when I am spotted. I tried to arrange with him time with our son but I got abused and asked who I was I had not spoken to him for 3 wks. I refuse to contact him even for the kids now.

Jun 16, 2014
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Worst week of my life
by: Anonymous

Your words have struck a cord with me tonight, I have been struggling for the last few days to make sense of being beaten to a pulp by my 'loving' bf (who has never raised his fists before and who I loved so much) in front of some of his family members who encouraged the attack. I wanted answers that I realise I will never get and I want them to pay for what they did but they are monsters not worthy of my airspace. This is going to be so hard to do but no contact is the best therapy needed and knowing I am not alone makes it a little easier to come to realise this, thank you xxx

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Life after getting out of an abusive relationship often continues to be a struggle, and It's My Life Now offers guidance to overcoming common pitfalls, blending worksheets with insights on self exploration and ongoing growth. From handling feels of loss and guilt to overcoming feelings associated with having loved an abuser, this book continues to offer invaluable lessons and be a real source of help and strength:

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