Hidden Hurt Domestic Abuse Information

Abuse from my boyfriend

by Abused Anon

Hi.. I really feel like sharing this because I have no one to talk to.. and I feel really sad and alone and I want to get this off my chest.

I was in a relationship of 3 years with this guy "Peter" but I ended it because I found that he has been lying and cheating on me. He told me he needed money to do business and I willingly gave him my ATM card so that he can withdraw as much money as he needed from my savings account, which has about $4000. He took them and spent them all on hookers and "business trips" to Thailand.

Just before I broke up with him, I met "Adam", his best friend. I fell in love. He was the sweetest person you could imagine. He made me feel like I was worth something. I finally feel like I am loved. After I broke up with my boyfriend, we were together. It was like a fairytale. He treated me like a princess and was everything I've ever wanted in a partner.

Everything started to change after a few months... he became extremely controlling. He doesn't want me to spend time with my friends or family... He would throw his temper at me at everything.

One time he accidentally slapped me, and ever since then, he started slapping me more and more, and as time goes by, he started pinching me, punching me and kicking me. And if I start tearing up, he'll hit me harder.

He keeps calling me names like stupid, worthless, piece of shit, slut, whore...

It's not always like that though... there are times when he's super sweet... and I would fall in love with him over again...

I do love him. I really really do. I don't know how I would be able to live without him...

I remember when I was younger, I told myself, I would never let a guy hit me. If any guy hits me, that's it. I'll walk out. But I can't. I can't... I just can't...

I have contemplated suicide many times... but I have no courage to... I would think about my parents and how heartbroken they would be that their eldest daughter would just kill herself because of a guy.

This morning he yelled at me again. My superior gave me a task very last minute because something popped up... he told me how I shouldn't be so stupid and let people step all over me and forced me to write a very rude message to my superior... I almost got fired...

I just wish I could have someone to hug me and let me cry on her shoulder and let it all out. It's hard bottling it up and it's eating me up......

Dear Adam... I really love you.. I really really really do... Please stop hitting me...

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Aug 28, 2015
Look for help!
by: Anonymous

Please, PLEASE look for help. He won't get better, only worse and won't change his ways.
He DOES NOT deserve a wonderful person like you.He DOES NOT deserve your love. He doesn't love you, care for you, or respect you.
"I don't know how I would be able to live without him..."
Not only will you be able to do it, but also, you will stop being scared, you'll feel better, free, happy once you drop that horrible monster out of your existence.
Please seek help. And drop him. He does not deserve you.

May 16, 2015
by: Anonymous

Hey sweetie I am going through the same mental torment just 2 hours ago he tried to get in to my house I was paralysed with fear I have been with this man for 5 years and nearly every day I have been beaten up tried to set me on fire I have been followed and stalked nearly every day since leaving the home I shared with him that has been going on for the past 8 months I live in fear every day of my life it's gotten that bad I have to get high security put in my hme to feel safe I am his punching bag,he sleeps with other women and that makes it even worse to live with,1 month ago I was attacked with a knife we are not alone but I feel like i am I want to get out and I hope I can find the strength and courage to do it and so can you and other women reading my story he makes me feel like a prisoner in my own home I have to report to him every day I leave my hme and wen I cme hme if I dont I know wats waiting for me.

Mar 14, 2015
To Abused Anon
by: Lindsey from Hidden Hurt

Please do reach out for help. Help is available and you do not have to live like that.

You could google your local DV hotline and speak with them about your situation. It sounds, I'm afraid to say, like classic abuser tactics and the chances are it will get worse over time, not better.

It has nothing to do with how much you love him, but everything to do with his perceptions and beliefs on how to treat women - specifically HIS woman. This is not something you can 'love' him out of, only a serious commitment to change and a prolonged course for batterers could make a difference. But even then, chances are very low that he will improve.

Read as much as you can about Domestic Violence, read this site, the personal stories, try to get hold of some of the books recommended and if you can, join the Freedom Programme in your area (if you are in the UK) or do it online, if you are able to access a computer without his seeing you.

And finally, we also have a message forum on Hidden Hurt. You can share your story, fears and upset there. We are there as a shoulder to cry on, to help and support you in whatever decision you make. And we don't bite :)

Look after yourself,

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Life after getting out of an abusive relationship often continues to be a struggle, and It's My Life Now offers guidance to overcoming common pitfalls, blending worksheets with insights on self exploration and ongoing growth. From handling feels of loss and guilt to overcoming feelings associated with having loved an abuser, this book continues to offer invaluable lessons and be a real source of help and strength:

To order in the US: It's My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence, 2nd Edition

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