Abuse from my boyfriend

by Abused Anon

Hi.. I really feel like sharing this because I have no one to talk to.. and I feel really sad and alone and I want to get this off my chest.

I was in a relationship of 3 years with this guy "Peter" but I ended it because I found that he has been lying and cheating on me. He told me he needed money to do business and I willingly gave him my ATM card so that he can withdraw as much money as he needed from my savings account, which has about $4000. He took them and spent them all on hookers and "business trips" to Thailand.

Just before I broke up with him, I met "Adam", his best friend. I fell in love. He was the sweetest person you could imagine. He made me feel like I was worth something. I finally feel like I am loved. After I broke up with my boyfriend, we were together. It was like a fairytale. He treated me like a princess and was everything I've ever wanted in a partner.

Everything started to change after a few months... he became extremely controlling. He doesn't want me to spend time with my friends or family... He would throw his temper at me at everything.

One time he accidentally slapped me, and ever since then, he started slapping me more and more, and as time goes by, he started pinching me, punching me and kicking me. And if I start tearing up, he'll hit me harder.

He keeps calling me names like stupid, worthless, piece of shit, slut, whore...

It's not always like that though... there are times when he's super sweet... and I would fall in love with him over again...

I do love him. I really really do. I don't know how I would be able to live without him...

I remember when I was younger, I told myself, I would never let a guy hit me. If any guy hits me, that's it. I'll walk out. But I can't. I can't... I just can't...

I have contemplated suicide many times... but I have no courage to... I would think about my parents and how heartbroken they would be that their eldest daughter would just kill herself because of a guy.

This morning he yelled at me again. My superior gave me a task very last minute because something popped up... he told me how I shouldn't be so stupid and let people step all over me and forced me to write a very rude message to my superior... I almost got fired...

I just wish I could have someone to hug me and let me cry on her shoulder and let it all out. It's hard bottling it up and it's eating me up......

Dear Adam... I really love you.. I really really really do... Please stop hitting me...