The grass is always greener on the other side :)

by Susan
(uk)

I was in two abusive marriages which made me feel like a complete loser. I had a career took care of myself and went to work each day like nothing was happening in my life. With my second husband I had two children.

He would beat me while I was pregnant, throw me out of the house. Break my things, damage my car, and you name it - he did it. Enough was enough and I managed to leave the country with two babies: a 7 month old baby boy and an 18 month old little girl, who have been through hell and back with me.

I struggled with the pain and hurt that this man I loved treated me so badly and left me to suffer with his kids. I was raised with innocent thoughts that if you do good then the world and people will be good back. Yet my ex was so full of evil and hate.

I wake up each day thanking god for peace. Simple things like not hearing him breaking down the door after a drunken night or dragging me out the house has made me realise I was living in hell compared with how I live now.

All the luxuries in the world cannot replace the contentedness you have after you leave the dark side. Don't get me wrong it has been hard ... days I wanted to break down because I felt I couldn't cope with the kids or cope with basic every day chores.

But I believed in myself and always have pushed myself to keep going. Learning to respect myself and coming to terms with not allowing anyone to abuse me has been the hardest thing to do. No one has the right to put you down and make you feel you are nothing let alone beat the hell out of you.

The grass is greener on the other side ... life is full of challenges, people hate, people love, but don't let yourself be a victim. Put your head up and get the hell on with it. I'm doing it and promise myself I will make something of my life for me and my kids. I am all they have and that's what keeps me going.