if things go bad

by brenda
(Indianapolis, Indiana)

Nola if things go bad you have to promise this to yourself and your kids: that you will leave.

You owe it to yourself. You can't live like that again. The on and off thing is something your kids will pick and see it as okay because mommy and daddy did I can too.

You guys do not need to grow up in that environment. It is not healthy. Get away from as soon as things start getting bad.

There might be someone out there who looks at you and finds you to be the most beautiful women he's ever seen. Someone who will hold you when you are not feeling good not, someone who is the cause of that feeling. Someone that will wipe your tears not someone who makes you cry.

Please don't stay if things go bad - even though you have kids, children should not be the reason you stay with this man it should be the motivate to want to live with freedom and happiness.

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Jun 15, 2016
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Staying for the kids
by: Lindsey from Hidden Hurt

I well understand your wanting to stay for the sake of the kids, but please consider seriously what effect staying in such an abusive marriage can have on the kids.

Here are just some of the damage staying can cause your kids, together with excerpts and stories from kids whose parent did decide to stay for their sake and how they felt about it years later:

http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/children_witnessing_domestic_violence.html

We are progammed as mothers to do everything we can to keep the family together and scare and shame tactics via the media and society encourage us to believe that the worst thing we can do for our children is to leave and deprive them of a parent.

In reality, many mothers and children find that once they have left an abusive relationship, they can really start living and acting as a real family, providing stability and support for the children.

Think through your options and seriously consider whether you and your children would be better of in a toxic and abusive home rather than a peacefull and supportive on.

Staying for the kids is often the worst thing we can do for our children, if their father or other parent is abusive, controlling and basically toxic.

All the best
Lindsey from Hidden Hurt

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