Hidden Hurt Domestic Abuse Information


by heather

Don't bottle up your feelings. Get help even if you feel okay as in my case: I left it 2 years ago and it's hit me ten times harder than at the time. I've had a lot of anger problems, mood swings, and even hit my new partner. I am getting the help now but wish I did 2 years ago.

Comment from Moderator:
Thanks Heather for those wise words and yes, I agree with you completely, it is always best to seek help as soon as we are out of an abusive situation, if not before leaving, as otherwise the whole thing can just come back to haunt us, as you mention, with anger problems, mood swings,and even lashing out at others. Once we have the opportunity to work though the issues brought up by the abuse, then we can be free to enter another relationship which will hopefully not be tainted with the distrust and upset still left over from the previous one.
Possible sources of gaining help are local support groups run by women's centers, outreach workers from Refuge, the Freedom Programme, but if we don't feel able to physically attend groups, then the online support forums can also help a great deal.
Am glad you are getting the help you need now, and all the best for your future :)

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May 18, 2013
I can relate
by: L

Heather, Thank you for your post! I, too, left my abusive marriage 2 years ago. While I did do some cursory counseling right after leaving, I didn't stay with it. It is only now after 2 years that I feel the need to delve deeper into the scars this abuse has had on me. I think the last two years have been about just putting one foot in front of the other. Getting away physically, going through court battles, establishing a new normal. It really hasn't been about thriving. There have been so many things to do, that I haven't had too many opportunities to reflect. Just the struggle of protecting and caring for myself and children has taken all my available strength and energy. And though this is still a daily process, I want more out of life now. I am ready to really live and not just merely survive. I don't want this to define me any longer. It is a part of my experience, but it is not all of who I am and have been. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! :) Best wishes for happiness and peace!


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Life after getting out of an abusive relationship often continues to be a struggle, and It's My Life Now offers guidance to overcoming common pitfalls, blending worksheets with insights on self exploration and ongoing growth. From handling feels of loss and guilt to overcoming feelings associated with having loved an abuser, this book continues to offer invaluable lessons and be a real source of help and strength:

To order in the US: It's My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence, 2nd Edition

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