Hidden Hurt Domestic Abuse Information

Tara's Domestic Violence Story

I want to tell my domestic violence story for other people who may be near my age and in the same situation I was in. My name's Tara which means star. I am a survivor of domestic violence at the age of 18.

I can remember it like it was just yesterday. September 14, 2013. Floyd "Money" Mayweather was scheduled to be fighting that night.

We were in Walgreen's parking lot waiting on his cousin. I looked at him and asked him just not to drink too much tonight. He nodded his head in agreement.

The night rolled on and we ended up hanging out with his friends, as he drank. We went from one house to another.

It amazes me how alcohol can change a person in such a way. (see the page on Alcohol and Domestic Violence)

On the drive home I just had a bad feeling in my gut that something bad was going to happen to me tonight. He had a violent past, I knew about it. He got violent with me a couple times but nothing too bad ... at least that's what I thought at the time. I did not really know what domestic violence was and I didn't think it applied to the couple of minor bits of violence from him. (see the section on Physical Abuse)

We got into the house and I told him I was going out to smoke a cigarette. Instead, I hopped in my car and left!! I felt so much safer, that is, until he called. My mother didn't live too far from him, a matter of 15 minutes walking distance. And I could hear him walking ... cussing at me asking me where I was and who I was with. To just bring him his things and we'd be done and over with.

I bought every lie, like they were fireworks on the fourth of July. I drove back to him, picked him up walking. It was like every time I got near him that night I just felt this heavy darkness. I knew it was going to happen to me at that moment. I got out of the car and dialed 911 on the phone and slid it in my pocket.

When we reached the porch he heard dispatch on the phone and yanked it from my pocket. He hung up the phone and continued to unlock the door when they called back he answered and then handed me the phone.

While I was answering the dispatcher's questions, he was mouthing to me "Hang up the fucking phone Tara" "Just hang it up - I'm not going to do anything to you" He finally ended up grabbing the phone from me and hanging it up.

He looks me in the eyes and tells me just to get my stuff - he doesn't want to be with me anymore.

Not thinking, I walk into the house believing him, and go to the room to get my things. I did not think that his grabbing the phone out of my hand was a type of domestic violence, that it was physical abuse. So I have my things and I turn to walk out of the room. Just then, he comes in to the room ... in many ways in my mind it turns into a blur from there on in. But the punches and struggle - I'll never forget. I made it into the living room.

This moment I pray I'll forget ... he had his hands around my neck as he looked me in my eyes. I can still hear the coldness in his voice "You better hope I don't fucking kill you before the cops show up"

They always say your life flashes before your eyes at the moment you have a choice to die or keep fighting. I made my choice. I kept fighting. I managed to get out of his hold and get my fingers in his eyes. Threw him off of me and ran to the door. Upon unlocking the dead bolt I could see a flash of light from outside in the door window ... it was the cops!

I was saved.

I got out with a fractured cheek bone and a lot of bruises.

I face these's memories daily. The pain and hurt of it all can sometimes be unbearable. More than anything I'm angry.

As you can see from my domestic violence story, it can happen so quickly and you can be facing the end of your life all of a sudden. I got lucky, I got out. I hope my story can have an effect on someone else's life: that they may find some inspiration in it all.

~ Tara.

Note from Lindsey, the moderator:

Dear Tara, I am very glad you managed to get out with theoretically only a few bruises and a fractured cheek bone and I applaud your ability to fight back against him and above all, to have relied on your gut instinct to call the cops once your gut told you there was likely to be an incident of domestic violence coming your way.

I just wanted to let you know that anger is a normal part of the process after a domestic violence relationship, and I would suggest you get counselling for this, so that it does not end up spilling over into the rest of your life. And remember, the Hidden Hurt Forum is always avaialable for you when you need to talk or just vent. We are here for you ... you do not have to survive your domestic violence story alone anymore!

I am sure you have already done a fair amount of research on domestic violence already, but I can really recommend the follwoing book (See below), which wil help you in the furture to avoid anyone who may turn out to be abusive, whether that is physical and emotional abuse or some other form of domestic violence. What we don't want to hear from you a couple of years down the road is that you have gotten together with another jerk and you send us a second domestic violence story!

The long-awaited book from our very own Steve from the Hidden Hurt Message Forum as finally arrived!


Have you ever gone out with someone who seemed perfect at first, but ended up being a nightmare? Do you find yourself falling in love but ending up feeling disrespected and used? Would you like to make sure that something like that never happens to you (or someone you care about) again? If so, this book is written for you. There are lots of books about how to tell if you're in an abusive relationship. This is book will keep you from getting into one in the first place. Jerk Radar will help you see how a Jerk takes advantage of common cultural expectations and romantic myths to blind you to his true intentions. It will give you concrete ways to test out his intentions in the course of a normal conversation. And the Jerk Radar Quiz provides an effective tool to screen every partner for Jerky tendencies well before obviously selfish behavior emerges. Full of true stories from abuse survivors, Jerk Radar pulls no punches in exposing what Jerks do and why we fall for it. This is a useful, down-to-earth, practical guide to avoiding a bad relationship instead of recovering from one. Read it today - it just may change your life!

To order in the US: Jerk Radar: How to Stop an Abusive Relationship Before It Starts

To order in the UK:Jerk Radar: How to Stop an Abusive Relationship Before It Starts

Steve McCrea, MS, has worked for over 20 years with survivors of domestic abuse and their children. He has participated in many local collaboartive projects on domestic abuse, and has provided community trainings on working effectively with domestic abuse survivors. He currently works as an advocate for children in the foster care system. He has volunteered for the past 9 years as facilitator for an on-line abuse survivor community, whose members contributed most of the stories in the book.

Return from Tara's Domestic Violence Story to Domestic Abuse Stories

In This Section:


Related Pages:

Domestic Violence Stories 1
Domestic Violence Poetry

Submit your own Story
Physical Abuse
Alcohol and DV

Recommended Reading:

In Love and in Danger is one of the only books available on dating violence and abusive relationships that addresses young adults directly. Includes facts about dating violence, tips for how to tell if your relationship is abusive, information on why dating abuse happens, and what you can do if you are being abused by (or are abusing) someone you love.

To order in the US: In Love and In Danger: A Teen's Guide to Breaking Free of Abusive Relationships

To order in the UK: In Love and in Danger: A Teen's Guide to Breaking Free of Abusive Relationships


Help Support Hidden Hurt

Hidden Hurt is financially supported solely by individual contributions from private persons and the small affiliate payments from book sales. If you feel Hidden Hurt is a useful resource and should and would like to help keep Hidden Hurt going, then please feel free to donate as much or as little as you like.


Click on the donate botton below to support Hidden Hurt. Thanks you.

UK National Domestic Violence Freephone number 0808 2000 247

Hear the voices of other women who have lived through and escaped from domestic abuse. This collection of personal survival stories help us understand the struggles, the pain and ultimately, the courage of victims who are determined to be survivors.

To order in the US: Surviving Domestic Violence: Voices of Women Who Broke Free

To order in the UK: Surviving Domestic Violence: Voices of Women Who Broke Free

Lundy Bancroft has written what is probably the most comprehensive and readable book on domestic violence, the beliefs of the abuser and the dynamics of abuse. This truly is a MUST READ for anyone seriously trying to understand domestic abuse and how to cope with an abusive relationship:

To order in the US: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

To order in the UK: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

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