Hidden Hurt Domestic Abuse Information

Take it one day at a time

There is a need for taking one day at a time which trying to start to live again:

Once you're out of the abusive relationship, it's generally not thoroughly true. Your thought process is still surrounding them, and it's that thought process that leads to going back. I know I've done it so many times, thinking he was able to change, and wanting it to work so badly. The time invested as well as his child, made me come back.

There was guilt associated with my decision, and I had thought that I may have been making a horrible decision by leaving. That kept me in the horrible relationship I was in.

Only after I had been gone two months alone, did what occurred start to settle within my mind. Even then it was not enough, but ultimately enough to know his behavior so when we did see each other after two months I could spot his lies, his tricks - all he did prior to manipulate me into staying.(Do not try to understand your abuser, you never will).

You have to patient, and love yourself. I know your abuser did not, and it may have drained your self confidence - but there is a world outside of the abuser. You do not have to live an unhappy life because you may or may not think you can do better.

Breaking up is tough, but in the long run it is the best thing you can do if you are facing abuse. Be honest with yourself when analyzing your situation. Do not rationalize, but realize what is really going on within the relationship. Read up on abuse articles if you are unsure, it definitely helped me through the process (or just to educate yourself). It's better to waste whatever time you have already wasted than to stay and try to make an abusive relationship work.

My heart goes out to all of you that have dealt with abuse or were treated horribly by abusers. I have been through it and I wish you all the best. Stay strong.

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Life after getting out of an abusive relationship often continues to be a struggle, and It's My Life Now offers guidance to overcoming common pitfalls, blending worksheets with insights on self exploration and ongoing growth. From handling feels of loss and guilt to overcoming feelings associated with having loved an abuser, this book continues to offer invaluable lessons and be a real source of help and strength:

To order in the US: It's My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence, 2nd Edition

To order in the UK: It's My Life Now


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UK National Domestic Violence Freephone number 0808 2000 247



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