Hidden Hurt Domestic Abuse Information

Absolutely no Contact

by Anon

Has the No Contact Rule helped with your recovery or helped to keep you safe?

What can I say ... years of therapy and the single most important strategy with my abusers was to go No Contact.

When I started doing it, I didn't even know it was a topic in the internet and everywhere else. Inother words, I had not read up on going no contact after an abusive relationship or with toxic family and friends, I just knew I was not going to be available for my abusers and implemented No Contact from my own volition.

It has worked well. Very well! Too bad I was too damaged and have taken too long to heal, but with no contact I get the chance to heal.

I have other variants of the same ... the low contact where the abusers must be contacted over some reasons like child visitation or because they are landlord ... but even there the rule works. I am very strict with the topic at hand. No personal details can be entertained either from them or from me.

Where such a need does not exist the point of conflict is fighting for my boundary ... why the abuse person will not respect my choice not to be talked to or be contacted.

Sometimes leading to ugly confrontation but you know what? For the first time there lies a non-negotiable rule. No contact mean no contact. Even if they were about to die, they should go ahead without contacting me.

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Life after getting out of an abusive relationship often continues to be a struggle, and It's My Life Now offers guidance to overcoming common pitfalls, blending worksheets with insights on self exploration and ongoing growth. From handling feels of loss and guilt to overcoming feelings associated with having loved an abuser, this book continues to offer invaluable lessons and be a real source of help and strength:

To order in the US: It's My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence, 2nd Edition

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