Physical Abuse

Physical abuse or assault is the most obvious form of Domestic Violence, the most visible, and also the most lethal.

Assaults often start small, maybe a small shove during an argument, or forcefully grabbing your wrist, but over time, physical abuse (or battering) usually becomes more severe, and more frequent, and can result in the death of the victim.

Physical abuse can be understood to include any behaviour which causes actual physical harm to the victim, is designed to do so, or a threat to do so.

Physical abuse can include the following:

• slapping,
• kicking,
• shoving,
He came upstairs and asked me to get out of bed to help him look for a work shirt. I didn't get out of bed. I replied that I wanted to go to sleep. He suddenly turned on me. He kicked me out of bed, somehow got me in the position of being flat on my back. He stood on me and spat in my face. (Charlotte's Story)
• choking,
• pinching,
• forced feeding,
• pulling hair,
• punching,
• throwing things,
• burning (eg with a cigarette),
• beating,
• strangling,
• use of weapons (gun, knives, or any object)
• physical restraint - pinning against wall, floor, bed, etc.
• reckless driving, etc.

Many survivors of physical abuse have reported that the physical abuse started very small, with just a slap or a push, but that it got progressively more violent as time went by. Also, even so-called 'small' acts of physical violence can have devastating effects on the victim, as they then live in fear of the same - or worse - happening again.

Threats within Abusive Relationships

Where threats are made within an violent relationship they can be as debilitating as the violence itself. A victim who has already suffered being battered need not imagine the result of displeasing the abuser, or doubt the abuser's ability to carry out the threats. Even where the victim has not been physically assaulted, the abuser will often demonstrate their ability to harm by punching walls or furniture, kicking the cat/dog, or using aggressive behaviour.

However, many threats are not physical but part of the ongoing emotional abuse. The abuser may threaten to 'disappear' with the children, report you to Social Services as an unfit parent or 'have you locked up in an asylum", harm a significant third party (e.g. family member), refuse housekeeping, leave or commit suicide. Whether the threats are of a physical, sexual or emotional nature, they are all designed to further control the victim by instilling fear and ensuring compliance.

The abuser becomes not only the source of pain and abuse, but also the protector, as he/she is not only the person being abusive, but also the person who can prevent the threatened action, increasing the victim's dependence.

Next: Sexual Abuse