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Why
consider the religious or spiritual issues? Because these are fundamental
not only to the believing victim and abuser as well as their Church,
but also to all those who live in a culture which is largely based
upon Christian moral values and traditions.
Religious people across all denominations
are not exempt from Domestic Abuse, however, there appears to be
a serious lack of understanding regarding abuse and the dynamics
of abusive relationships and their impact upon the lives of people
involved within churches and demoninations generally.
When considering Domestic Abuse we have to realise that religious
or spiritual factors are central to the victim's understanding and
response. His/her own faith and the support of Church members
can be vital in helping the healing process, while a lack of understanding
regarding the Biblical perspective on abusive relationships by the
victim or those he/she turns to for spiritual guidance and support
can add to the emotional, physical and financial hurdles already faced.
Many women in abusive
relationships feel they ought to submit to their husbands out of
duty, that they have no right over their own body, life or even
opinions. Quite often this misconception is furthered by advice
from clergy, elders, rabbis or other members of the Church or congregation.
Some men may feel trapped by their beliefs in an abusive relationship,
unsure of their position towards their wives or girl-friends. Some
men may feel that unless they lord it over their partners, they
are not doing as they ought to in the sight of God, that their position
is one of Master, of Lord of the household. Often quotiations or
excerpts from the Bible are used to justify abusive behaviour, or
the suppression by one member of the household of another.
The Mission Statement by the organisation 'Christians for Biblical
Equality', states clearly and with plenty of references back
to the Bible, just what the position of both Men and Women is in
relation to each other, in Church, in Society and in the Family,
and makes an excellent starting-point for those confused about or
interested in clarifying their positions within the context of their
Church or creed.
Please check out the article under the following link:
Many victims of abuse
turn to their church leader for advice on how to deal with the abuse,
whether it is acceptable in the sight of the Lord to leave the abuser,
is divorce an option which is acceptable to the Lord, can the Church
help to stop the abuse, hold the abuser accountable, help to protect
the victim and children? How then should the Elder, Priest, Rabbi
or Priest respond? The following guidelines have been drawn up by
the Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Abuse,
and provide vital advice for spiritual leaders trying to help both
the abused and the abuser:
One of the main dilemnas
facing both the victim of abuse and the Church leaders and/or members
when dealing with the perpetrator of Domestic Violence, is the question
of Forgiveness. Should we forgive the abuser unconditionally? How
do we tell if repentance has taken place? Should the acts be forgiven
and forgotten? For the victim, is it her/his duty to forgive each
incident, act as though nothing had happened and continue to put
herself/himself at risk from the abuser? The following article,
excerpted from 'The Survivor Activist', deals mainly with
the response toward child abusers. However, the principles detailed
are applicable to all sexual or violent abuse.
Many
people believe that the Bible does not deal with the issues of violence
and abuse, that DV is a modern problem and therefore God is silent
on it in Scripture. Yet human nature does not change with time,
and while the LORD condemned violence and offered hope and comfort
to the oppressed 2000 years ago, His words are just as current now
as they were in the time of the Prophets or Jesus. The following
is a collection of quotations from the Bible dealing with God's
attitude to abuse (oppression), violence, the victim and the abuser,
and the responsibilities of the Church:
Poll Results from 2005:
How understanding of abuse issues is Your Church?
A total of 82 votes were cast, with the following
results:
Very, they have been a great help to me. 17% of
votes (14/82)
Okay, they understand but don't really know how to help. 16% of
votes (13/82)
They don't really understand or help much. 23% of votes (19/82)
Bad, they don't understand at all. 9% of votes (7/82)
Dreadful, they have been quite condemning. 18% of votes (15/82)
Have not approached my Church. 17% of votes (14/82)
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