Religion and Domestic Violence
Why consider the religious or spiritual issues? Because these are
fundamental not only to the believing victim and
abuser as well as their Church, but also to all those who live in
a culture which is largely based upon Christian moral values and
traditions.
Religious people across all denominations are not exempt from
Domestic Abuse, however, there appears to be a serious lack of understanding
regarding abuse and the dynamics of abusive relationships and their
impact upon the lives of people involved within churches and demoninations
generally.
When considering Domestic Abuse we have to realise that religious
or spiritual factors are central to the victim's understanding and
response. His/her own faith and the support of Church members
can be vital in helping the healing process, while a lack of understanding
regarding the Biblical perspective on abusive relationships by the
victim or those he/she turns to for spiritual guidance and support
can add to the emotional, physical and financial hurdles already
faced. |
In this Section:
Personal Stories from Believers:
- Abigail's
Story
- May's
Story -"I thought that because he never
actually hit me (he just threatened to if I didn't shut up), that
it wasn't classed as abuse. I've always been afraid of him, so
I've worked myself and our 4 children around pleasing him in order
to maintain peace."
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Many women in abusive relationships feel they ought
to submit to their husbands out of duty, that they have no right
over their own body, life or even opinions. Quite often this misconception
is furthered by advice from clergy, elders, rabbis or other members
of the Church or congregation. Some men may feel trapped by their
beliefs in an abusive relationship, unsure of their position towards
their wives or girl-friends. Some men may feel that unless they
lord it over their partners, they are not doing as they ought to
in the sight of God, that their position is one of Master, of Lord
of the household. Often quotations or excerpts from the Bible are
used to justify abusive behaviour, or the suppression by one member
of the household of another.
The Mission Statement by the organisation 'Christians for Biblical
Equality', states clearly and with plenty of references back
to the Bible, just what the position of both Men and Women is in
relation to each other, in Church, in Society and in the Family,
and makes an excellent starting-point for those confused about or
interested in clarifying their positions within the context of their
Church or creed.
Please check out the article under the following link:
Many victims of abuse turn to their church leader for advice on
how to deal with the abuse, whether it is acceptable in the sight
of the Lord to leave the abuser, is divorce an option which is acceptable
to the Lord, can the Church help to stop the abuse, hold the abuser
accountable, help to protect the victim and children? How then should
the Elder, Priest, Rabbi or Priest respond? The following guidelines
have been drawn up by the Center for the Prevention of Sexual
and Domestic Abuse, and provide vital advice for spiritual leaders
of any Church or denomination trying to help both the abused and
the abuser:
One of the main dilemnas facing both the victim of abuse and the
Church leaders and/or members when dealing with the perpetrator
of Domestic Violence, is the question of Forgiveness. Should we
forgive the abuser unconditionally? How do we tell if repentance
has taken place? Should the acts be forgiven and forgotten? For
the victim, is it her/his duty to forgive each incident, act as
though nothing had happened and continue to put herself/himself
at risk from the abuser? Do we need to be forgiven ourselves and
is that forgiveness available to us?
Many people believe that the Bible does not deal with the issues
of violence and abuse, that DV is a modern problem and therefore
God is silent on it in Scripture. Yet human nature does not change
with time, and while the LORD condemned violence and offered hope
and comfort to the oppressed 2000 years ago, His words are just
as current now as they were in the time of the Prophets or Jesus.
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The
Bible on Abuse and Violence - a collection of quotations
from the Bible dealing with God's attitude to abuse (oppression),
violence, the victim and the abuser, and the responsibilities
of the Church.
Christian victims of domestic violence face the same hurdles
to leaving an abusive relationship as do other victims, but they
also have religious or biblical concerns, which make it difficult
even getting to the stage of admitting abuse is happening without
fearing 'eternal condemnation'. We may also ask ourselves whether
our experience within the relationship is what God intended for
us, whether being fearful in our marriage is an aspect of love?
Articles and other websites which may also
be of interest:
Take part in Our Poll:
Poll Results from
2005: How understanding of abuse issues is Your Church?
A total of 82 votes were cast, with the following results:
 Very,
they have been a great help to me. 17% of votes (14/82)
Okay, they understand but don't really know how
to help. 16% of votes (13/82)
They don't really understand or help much. 23%
of votes (19/82)
Bad, they don't understand at all. 9% of votes
(7/82)
Dreadful, they have been quite condemning. 18%
of votes (15/82)
Have not approached my Church. 17% of votes (14/82)
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How understanding of abuse issues is your Church?