Keeping Safe
Whether you decide at this stage to stay or to leave, you need
to ensure your own safety and that of any dependent children living
with you. The following are a few pointers towards avoiding or dealing
with a domestic violence incident, your abuser and keeping yourself
safe:
In an Emergency
If you are at home and you are being threatened or attacked:
- Stay away from the kitchen (the abuser can find
weapons, like knives, there)
- Stay away from small rooms or spaces where the
abuser can trap you
- Get to a room with a door or window in case
you get a chance to escape
- Get to a room with a telephone so that you can
call for help, if possible lock your abuser out
- Call 999 and ask for the Police
- Ensure a friend or neighbour knows about the
abuse incase you need to call them or stay with them
- If a Police Officer comes, tell him/her what
happened and ensure you are not left alone with the abuser
- Get medical help if you are hurt or injured
- Take photos of the bruises or injuries
- Call the Domestic Violence Hotline, your local
Domestic Violence Unit at the Police Station, Women's Aid or a
local Shelter and ask them to help you make a safety plan
Back to top
How to Protect Yourself at Home
If you still live with your abuser or he/she has regular access
to your home:
- Find out where you can get help. Learn the telephone
numbers off by heart
- Try to ensure there is a lockable room with
a telephone inside, or, even better, buy yourself a mobile phone
and keep it on you at all times
- Plan an escape route out of your home and teach
it to your children
- Work out where or to whom you could go if you
needed to escape
- Pack a bag with important things you would need
if you had to leave quickly; put it in a safe place, or better,
give it to a friend or neighbour. Include cash, car keys and important
documents such as passport or birth certificates, medical records
and medicines, immigration papers, money and your car keys.
- Take a good self-defence course
- Keep a diary of every incident that occurs
If your abuser no longer lives in your home or does not have regular
access to it:
- Ask for an ex-directory telephone number
- Use an answering machine and don't answer the
call until you know who is calling
- Ask your neighbours to call the Police if they
see the abuser at your house; arrange a signal for them to call
the Police, for example, if the phone rings twice, a curtain is
closed or a light is on
- If you have a Court Order preventing the abuser
from being in your house keep it accessible - the Police will
need to see it if they are called
- Never answer the door unless you know who is
the other side
Back to top
How to Keep your Children Safer
- Teach them not to get involved in a fight, even
if they want to help you
- Teach them how to get to safety, to call 999,
to give your address and phone number to the Police
- Teach them whom to call for help
- Tell them to keep out of the kitchen
- If you have a Court Order, give a copy to the
school, playgroup, etc. (it may be a good idea to give them a
photo of your abuser so they can identify him)
- Ask the school, etc. not to release the children
to anyone bar yourself unless they confirm with you first
Back to top
How to Protect Yourself Outside the Home &
At Work
- Change your regular travel habits
- Try to get lifts to and from work with someone
else rather than travelling alone
- Do your shopping etc. in different places
- Cancel any bank accounts or credit cards you
shared and open new accounts at a different bank or branch
- If you have a Court Order, keep it with you
at all times, together with any emergency numbers
- Buy a mobile phone, program it to 999, and
keep it on you at all times
- If you have a Court Order preventing you abuser
from entering your place of work, give a copy to your employer
- Give a photo of your abuser to the security
staff and/or receptionist so they can identify him/her
- Never go to lunch on your own
- Ask a colleague to accompany you to your car
or bus (and wait with you)
- Carry an emergency alarm (available from your
local DV Police DV unit)
- If your abuser calls or emails you at work,
save any mails or voice messages, make a note of the date and
time
Back to top
Safety at the Court
- Ask a friend or relative to go with you to the
Hearing and stay in the waiting area with you
- Lots of Court Rooms have separate waiting areas
or smaller rooms off the main waiting area - ask to have one reserved
for you or try to get there early
- Ask your solicitor or a Court Official to accompany
you to your car after the Hearing
- Try to sit as far away from your abuser as
possible; you don't have to talk to him/her or his family or friends
- More and more Courts now have separate entrance
and exits for victims of DV, find out whether the Court you are
attending does before the Court date
- Contact Victim Support Services, they may be
able to give you a tour of the Court and can also provide someone
to stay with you on the day
Back to top
Children and Contact
- Always arrange to hand over the kids or collect
them in a public place
- Ask a friend or relative to go with you
- If possible, arrange to drop the children off
and collect them from a third party
- If you are living in a Refuge, NEVER ask your
abuser to collect the children from there
- Ensure specific times and places are agreed
for contact, if possible via a solicitor or Court Order
- Ensure the children know when you are meant
to be collecting them
Back to top
Sources:
American Bar Be Safe Guide
Back to Articles
|
