Who is the Abuser?
After the more dramatic and publicised Domestic Abuse stories hit
the headlines, one often hears comments such as "what sort
of Monster would do that" or "Nobody I know would
do that sort of thing!". The assumption seems to be that
all abuser walk around with a big A for 'abuser' on their forehead,
are easily discernable by anyone 'normal' and always comply with
the stereotypical image.
In actual fact one of the main problems encountered by victims,
friends, family and various agencies dealing with the consequences
of an abusive relationship, is how 'normal' the abuser seemed, how
unlike the image so frequently portrayed by the media. We may expect
an abuser to be male, big, working-class, prone to being drunk,
un-shaven, heterosexual, ... (fill in the blanks!). However, an
abuser is just as likely to be gay, a white-collar worker, a religious
leader or clean-shaven. Sometimes the abuser is also a woman.
In this section of Hidden Hurt I am trying to address the question
of who the abuser actually is, are there any tell-tale signs which
could indicate an abusive personality, how does an abusive relationship
actually work, if you think you may abusive, where do you get help,
and above all, why does one person abuse another, and is there any
hope of the abuse stopping? Please click on the links below for
some of the answers to these questions.
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