Welcome to Hidden Hurt,

a UK-based Abuse Information and Support Site

No matter who you are, you are likely to have some experience of Domestic Abuse at some stage in your life. You may be in an abusive relationship, wondering whether it is, or simply confused by mixed emotions regarding your partner; you may have escaped and are trying to make sense of what happened; you may know someone who is being abused and want to understand what they are going through; or you may be worried that you are abusive towards the person you love.

The following pages are designed to help understand the dynamics of an abusive relationships, the different forms (or faces) abuse can take, it's effect on both direct victims (ie person being abused) and indirect victims (ie children living in a house where abuse occurs), specific issues facing the Christian abuse victim, and helpful links and telephone numbers inside the UK.

Please note that I am not a counsellor, or hold any qualifications apart from having been there and survived myself. The information is neither comprehensive, nor infallible!

Throughout most of this site I have referred to the victim of abuse as female, the abuser as male. This is to simplify the grammar (ie avoiding 'she/he', since we don't have a common word for both) and make the information more readable, though I realise that there are many more men living in abusive relationships than we know. There is also a page specifically for male victims and survivors of abuse, together with further links, in Who is the Victim section of Hidden Hurt, and more articles are planned soon!

For the full contents of Hidden Hurt, please look at the Sitemap. If you would like to be informed when the contents of Hidden Hurt are updated, please join our Newsletter !

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Hidden Hurt is divided into the following sections:

Types of Abuse gives definitions of different forms of abuse, from physical violence (battery) through to Financial Abuse, together with examples of each kind. It also covers aspects such as threats, marital rape and isolation. A good starting point for anyone either seeking general information on abuse or victims confused about what is happening to them and needing to know whether their experiences really are abuse.

The Victim covers some of the main myths and facts surrounding abuse, looks at why we stay in abusive relationships, offers advice for those trying to understand and support abuse victims, gives an insight into some of the characteristics abused people tend to display and offers suggestions both on leaving safely and how to get through the day once one has left.

The Abuser looks at how an abusive relationship works (the dynamics of abuse) and offers a pictoral idea of how central the concepts of power and control in abuse. The characteristics or warning signs of an abusive personality are also to be found in this section. Also included is a page on where to get help if you think you may be abusive towards your partner.

Children and DV takes a brief look at the effects on children living in a home where abuse takes place. Hidden Hurt does NOT deal with child abuse which is specifically directed towards children (there are loads of sites which deal with this very serious topic very well already), but simply their perception of and involvement in Domestic Violence where the abuse is directed mainly at their main caregiver. Further information includes Contact related issues (UK) and Government Guidelines, further reading and links.

Religion and Abuse tries to deal with some of the issues facing Christian victims and survivors of abuse and includes articles on Biblical Equality, forgiveness, guidelines for Pastors and Rabbis, and also looks at what the Bible has to say on the issues of violence and abuse. Though this section is largely approaching the issues from a Christian point of view, it would also be helpful for non-Christian believers.
Although the religious issues considered in Hidden Hurt are written from the point of view of a Christian, there are links included for Muslims, Islamic and Jewish women in the Resources section. If you are the author of an article or study which would be suitable for the site on facets of abuse particular to these religions, please do contact me with details and/or suggestions for inclusion on Hidden Hurt. Thank you.

Articles. This section is for all those articles which don't really fit into any of the other sections or could be in several of them! Topics range from Emotional Boundaries in relationships, through Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome and dissociation, to the difference in being a Victim or a Survivor and Marital Rape.

Resources. This is the section to visit if you are looking for books to read, need to know whether there is someone you can call to speak to about your situation or options, if you would like to follow a link to more DV related sites or gain a better understanding of a particular aspect of abuse.

Research is your opportunity to help me to improve Hidden Hurt! Fill in the Questionnaire or send me your thoughts on on some of the issues. Hidden Hurt is here for YOU, let me know what you would like to read about, what would further help!

Personal Stories is the most personal part of Hidden Hurt. This is the place for survivors to share their experiences and feelings, poetry and anything else which related to either living with abuse or the journey of healing and recovery. Please take care while browsing this part of Hidden Hurt, as some of the stories can be triggering.

The Message Forum is a lively and supportive message board for victims, survivors, both male and female, and those wanting to know how to help friends or family being abused. The Forum is a US/UK joint effort, moderated by survivors. You DO NOT need to give any personal details to participate, and you are very welcome simply to browse and read the messages.

HIDDEN HURT is not a registered charity and is wholly dependent on private donations and sponsorship. You can help support us by clicking through from Hidden Hurt to purchase your books from Amazon or by contacting the webmaster directly with donations. Thank you.

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